Couples Counseling/Marriage Therapy

We believe healthy and long-term marriages are achieved through transparency, proper communication, and genuine restoration.

Rebuilding Connections and Saving Marriages

Even happy couples experience stressful periods and conflicts. There can be a lack of emotional intimacy or meaningful connections between you and your partner that leave you feeling down and lonely. You’re aware that you two are projecting and tapping into old, deeply entrenched reserves of pain, resentment, and anger, but instead of understanding what the other party is saying, both of you get defensive and lash out. The goal of marriage counseling is to recognize and address past traumas and unique issues, so you can fortify a healthy and strong partnership. Our therapists will teach you and your spouse effective strategies for communicating and resolving problems; therefore, it’s imperative that you seek us immediately once you’re feeling unsettled, unhappy, or stuck in your relationship. We move past the blame game, which can ensnare couples and create tension. This process centers around learning your triggers and interpreting embedded emotions, with couples developing empathy and forming deeper connections to each other. Instead of bottling things in, we implement extensive communication so couples can assert and express their feelings and manage expectations while still being respectful to the other party. Marriage counseling is also monumentally beneficial for couples who have children, since a tense household can negatively impact them. Fights and arguments between parents can induce major unaddressed issues that place stress upon the entire family unit. Our expert team of therapists can engrain techniques to decrease issues and tension, while positively affecting everyone in the home.

Supporting Struggling Relationships

Marital or pre-marital issues can be tumultuous and consume other areas of your life, our compassionate, experienced licensed therapists work closely with individuals, couples, and families to flourish as a unit while practicing self-care and self-love. Sharing the love and happiness with others means making sure your personal mental health is protected and well-maintained. We’re devoted to helping you build a successful, lifelong marriage and relationship.

Our tools and resources serve as a staple during all stages of your relationship, so you can fully commit yourself to your partner and family. We offer:

• Premarital Counseling
  A form of therapy that aides you and your future partner by resolving some problems that may arise later in marriage before they even happen. It’s common for new couples to struggle with physically and emotionally upholding one another, managing joint finances, and solving conflicts, especially if you’re a child of divorce or witnessed toxic examples of relationships. We give you the foundation needed to handle those problems more effectively down the road.
• Couples Counseling
  Couples can have trouble finding their rhythm and expressing their unique needs and desires. Sometimes, our needs can clash with our partner’s and result in rising hardships. Regardless of the relationship stage you’re in, personal issues, such as infidelity, abuse, feelings of inadequacy, changes in work or routine, fights about expenses and income, and poor communication can contribute to discord. We want to give you the support, helpful ear, and guidance so you can feel seen and heard. Our therapists help you devise and establish healthy boundaries, create vigorous and productive methods for conflict management, heal after broken trust, and provide mental health assistance to elevate your quality of life.
• Marriage Therapy
  In situations where life gets overwhelming, your marriage is questioned, and divorce enters the conversation because of lack of compatibility or infidelity we can help. Even if you find it nearly impossible to circumvent the feelings of unhappiness and make them vanish, putting an inevitable strain on your relationship and making things 10-times harder to repair emotional wounds. If you feel like your needs aren’t being met or there’s a chance for resolution, we’ll work with you and your spouse individually and together to determine the root cause of your relationship woes, help you process your emotions, and guide you into becoming a better partner. Our renowned and caring marriage therapist can give you the extra boost you require to rekindle that spark.

Trauma Therapy

If you’re experiencing discomfort, fear, night sweats, or helplessness, this can be from a traumatic event that has you feeling paranoid and on-edge. You’re not alone. Over 50% of people experience a traumatic event in their lifetime. Trauma doesn’t have to be a terrifying, unknown, cycle. Together, we can undo the apprehensiveness to repair the trust, safety, and security that has been breached.

What Is Trauma?

You feel alone and anxious after enduring recurring nightmares. You wake up in a cold sweat, reimagining the nightmare as your heart pounds rapidly in your chest and an endless void appears in the pit of your stomach. Although you take a few deep breaths and try to readjust to catch up to the present times, you feel disconnected, damaged, numb, and overwhelmed. That is trauma. Trauma is a physical and psychological response that leaves you on high-alert and guarded as you peer around the corner in anticipation for the next wave of terrible circumstances to take place. Worst-case scenarios and danger are some of the intrusive thoughts that enter your mind, compromising your day-to-day routine. Meanwhile, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a psychological condition that occurs from a response to a past-lived trauma. Trauma and PTSD stem from war, crime, an accident, or the death of a loved one. Trauma can also derive from miscarriage and pregnancy loss, sexual violation, infidelity, food allergies and health anxiety, or the most recent collective trauma – the COVID-19 virus.

Whatever the cause of trauma may be, it can leave you feeling vulnerable, angry, anxious, and frustrated. Trauma can be life-threating and physically and emotionally harmful because it clouds your ability to rationalize and cope. It’s physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually draining and can cause the following:

• Physical pain
• Depression, anxiety, and OCD
• Nightmares, panic attacks, or flashbacks
• Guilt, shame, and blame
• Denial, memory loss, or repression (unexplained gaps in time)
• Withdrawal from loved ones and activities
• Addiction
• Hyperarousal and/or other risky sexual practices
• Irritability, fear, and paranoia
• Hypervigilance

Solidifying Safety, Security, Tranquility, and Joy Into Your Life

With us, you never have to battle your trauma alone. We understand that everyone processes trauma differently, which is why we have custom-tailored treatment plans. Our client-centric approach is designed so that you feel comfortable and safe in a confidential and empathetic environment. We want you to entrust your needs and therapy objectives to us so we can impart effective coping strategies to help you control your emotions. We use a variety of methods to have you regain your sense of self. Building your resilience and restoring your system into a calm state that encapsulates stability and connectivity is our main priority. At D’Ivad Zzen Therapy Boutique, our trauma therapists apply counseling techniques that have helped others escape their cumbersome past and progress their healing. Our trauma therapy pertains to:

• Asserting safety
  You’ll learn through relaxation techniques, meditation practices, and mindfulness on how to slow your body’s physiological responses to a traumatic situation. After mastering these skills, you’ll later follow guided steps to identify and communicate emotions using visualizations and grounding exercises.
• Processing the trauma
  If trauma goes unprocessed, it can create a raw and emotionally intense conundrum in your mind, prompting your brain to repeatedly dissect it so it can formulate what happened. The trauma can also become stuck and suppressed, transforming into physical ailments, such as headaches, hypertension, chronic pain, skin breakouts, etc. As challenging as it may be, you must confront the experience and put into words what transpired. This informs the brain that this traumatic memory can be categorized in the past instead of being relived and recycled in the current moment.
• Reconnecting with your body
  Unprocessed trauma is stored in the body as part of the mind-body connection. As soon as you recall the traumatic event, your body re-lives the trauma. The brain has difficulty distinguishing the trauma memories from the original event. Therefore mind-body techniques are used so that your body learns that the threat is gone. You can start to befriend your body, love your body, and feel safe in your body.
• Reconnecting with others and embracing life
  Once you’ve surpassed these stages, you finally get to move forward and enjoy life. You’re entirely engaged and present by refusing to let the traumatic event control and alter your path. You’ll never forget what occurred, it’ll always be etched in your story, but you can be happy and not let it steer your life anymore. Memories will remain defined as just that, memories, so you’ll finally be free.

We’ve been working with trauma survivors to empower them to speak their truths and confidently discuss their skirmishes with trauma. You deserve to untap your limitless potential without trauma holding you back. Schedule an appointment with us today to pinpoint your trauma and start your treatment plan.

Family Therapy

When you ask most people what their personal goals are, the top answer is having a healthy, vibrant family. In many cultures, family is the life source because it represents strong communal values, while giving people a sense of purpose and identity. Whether people want or come from a large, medium, or small family, everyone has a function - parents serve as life teachers, passing down legacies and values onto their children; consequently, children embody, emulate, and expand upon those values, making their own contributions to society. This process continues from generation to generation; however, life knocks families off their equilibrium sometimes and they don’t operate how they should. That’s where we come in.

Families Facing Life Disruptions

Families are systems that have even closer interpersonal effects. No family is perfect, so these effects can either be beneficial or detrimental to the group or individual. This is why you need an objective, outside perspective to assess familial harmony and help restore the balance. Our licensed therapists can help families grow closer and respond to unforeseen circumstances. Family life can change instantly, completely disorienting and blindsiding families. Depending on the family structure, individual family members can either grow closer or more disconnected. Crises can include:

• Unemployment
• Financial hardship
• Loss of a family member or close family friend
• Loss of the family’s home
• An accident that causes injury or disability
• Divorce

Besides unmet needs and quick sudden crises, familial trouble can slowly fester over time and become unmanageable or overwhelming without intervention. Ongoing crises may include:

• Neglect
• Domestic abuse
• Alcoholism
• Mental illness
• Codependency
• Providing care for a chronically ill relative

Sustaining Familial Relationships and Open Channels of Communication

Despite facing challenges and tough situations, the family doesn’t always have to sow seeds of division and dissention. Through our guided methodology, families can work together to navigate life’s hurdles, forming closer ties rather than remaining secluded and distant. We love to use our systemic and calming techniques to decrease familial tensions. We teach healthy communication styles and facilitate words of encouragement within the family, while acknowledging and exploring how the family can support one another through hard times. We help families name their issues and actively implement solutions to connect and unpack in a healthy and productive way. Constructive dialogue can lead to a greater understanding of the family as a whole and individually. Our highly attuned therapists can discern that:

• The challenge is the isolating factor that needs to be amended and eradicated, not the family or individual who asks for help.
• Listening, understanding, and empathizing is key to every situation .
• There is always an opening for compromise and conversation.
• Every family member needs a voice to represent their individual desires and needs.

Therapy requires staunch effort, tireless dedication, and commitment, the work might be strenuous, but after we commence counseling and therapy sessions, people benefit because they take the first step.

Professional Sex Therapy

Similar to other forms of counseling, sex therapy is intended to assist individuals and couples in resolving relationship problems and sexual difficulties. It’s normal for clients to feel hesitant or anxious to broach the topic of sex, we also understand that you may feel awkward having these deeply personal discussions with a stranger. We recognize these feelings and try to make you feel as comfortable as possible. Our therapists provide hope, understanding, and compassionate insight into specific sexual obstacles and behaviors, such as intimacy, compulsion, sexual dysfunction, and infidelity. We start the session by building rapport so that you become comfortable with questions concerning your sexual history, health, exact sexual concerns, and beliefs surrounding sex. Regardless of your background, we’re here to offer a safe space so you feel confident to express your thoughts and needs.

Overcoming Performance Anxiety

Many people experience sexual performance anxiety or painful sex. They’re often afraid that something is wrong with them or they’re in a sexual rut. Fearful that they cannot perform, some people have little to no sexual desire or sex leaves them feeling unfulfilled. We want to help you overcome your sexual performance anxiety, part of this is achieved through “homework assignments,” otherwise known as practical activities that you can complete in the comfort and privacy of your own home. This homework might include:

• Sensate concentration: This transformative technique is designed for couples to gradually build trust and intimacy in the relationship, therefore eradicating anxiety.
• Experimentation: Couples who feel sexually stagnant can have fun trying a medley of activities, such as role playing, using sex toys, or adjusting their sexual routine or positions to boost desire.
• Communication: Most people come into the bedroom with a different set of boundaries and expectations than their partners. We help clients vocalize what they desire sexually or emotionally in a relationship through asking. They can practice how to best formulate and structure their questions aloud.
• Education: There are times when clients did not talk about sex at home or receive sexual health education growing up, resulting in them being unaware of certain anatomy or how the body functions during sexual activity. Our therapists delegate books, instructional materials, website articles, and videos for clients to watch, therefore fortifying their knowledge. They might suggest in-depth ways that clients learn more about their body.

Increasing Passion and Sexual Desire

Sexual ebbs and flows are normal, in fact, 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men report feeling some type of sexual dysfunction during their lifetimes. However, did you know that daily responsibilities, stress, boredom with one’s sex life, relationship issues, and other factors can lead to having less fulfilling sex? When couples lose their passion, it can be difficult to talk about their unsatisfactory sexual experiences. With sex therapy, you don’t have to feel disconnected and isolated from your spouse. Our therapists can help you prioritize your sex life and reignite your libido by expanding your sexual satisfaction and reframing your sexual challenges.

We help treat these conditions with conversation and connectivity. Our therapists can guide you through specific coping mechanisms to aid in improving your responses, and help you verbalize your emotions, trepidations, and experiences. Sex therapy sessions are designed to help you have a healthier sex life, we’re not here to take anyone’s side or persuade either party. Everything is centered around trust and fostering a supportive and receptive educational environment. Your appointments with us encourage management, full acceptance of your concerns, and continual change. All we ask is for you to be entirely onboard and complete the assignments to the best of your ability before your next meeting. There are many benefits to sex therapy as you can see below.

Sex therapy can help men start to enjoy sex after experiencing:

• Performance anxiety
• Erectile dysfunction
• Premature ejaculation
• Problems with orgasms
• Decreased desires/libido
• Problems related to porn
• Communication with your partner
• Effects from sexual abuse or trauma
• Body image issues

Sex therapy can help women start to enjoy sex after experiencing:

• Painful intercourse
• Anxiety and nervousness related to sex
• Low sexual desire
• Difficulty reaching an orgasm
• Postpartum sexuality changes
• Sexual changes after a hysterectomy
• Effects from sexual abuse or trauma
• Body image issues

What to Expect As You Embark on Sex Therapy

Our initial sessions consist of exploration and evaluation. Your therapist will work with you to discover and identify the problem. In our first session, we’ll talk about your specific concerns with compassion and from a non-judgmental stance. As therapy progresses, our licensed professionals will also evaluate sexual functioning, and treatment recommendations, and conduct trauma assessments for sexual abuse. We want to consider the best course of treatment so you can have an engaging, mentally and physically stimulating sex life.

Therapy for High-Stress Professionals

Although you may appear successful, polished, poised, and well put-together on the surface, relaxing is not an option. Whenever you attempt to unwind, your nervous system freezes and kicks into amplified gear, so you press play and continue at high speed. But how fast is high speed before you crash? We’ll guide you through your triggers before they become worse and use them as opportunities for healing and growth.

The Burnout Conundrum

You have it all, the stellar, exemplary career; the glossy resume and professional reputation; and the amazing business; however, you feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Stress is a natural part of life that comes in a multitude of forms, the occasional stressors are actually harmless to our health and incentivize us to reach our aspirations or remove ourselves from unsafe situations. Moderate stress allows the body to respond at a heightened speed, while chronic stress indicates significant mental strain and long-term health problems. Experiencing stressors is a natural part of life, their impact depends on how we learn to deal with them and navigate our way through tough moments. Forty percent of U.S. workers admit to experiencing office stress, and one-quarter say work is the biggest source of stress in their lives. Chronic stressors appear and remain if the body doesn’t have time to repair itself. Stress can stem from internal overthinking. Some ways of thinking that lead to stress are:

• Unrealistic expectations placed on yourself
• Inability to adapt to change
• Attitudes and perceptions about life
• Fear and uncertainty about the future

Some emotional and physical reactions to stress include:

• Headaches
• Nausea
• Ulcers
• Weight gain or loss
• Sleep difficulties
• Acne
• Anger
• Fatigue
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Concentration issues
• Burnout

Lightening the Load

There are multiple healthy, gratifying ways to relieve stress. We can combine those alleviators into a customized, long-term treatment plan. When stress leads to chronic pain or health complications, lack of pleasure and relaxation, or other mental and physical ailments, one of our therapists can recommend strategic and personalized counseling sessions. The types of treatments that we propose to help you cope with stress in healthy ways are the following:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
  This effective form of therapy alters negative thought patterns that develop due to stress, it often helps people spark new, inventive ways of thinking concerning tackling events that cause stress. Shifting your mindset can help lower the stressor’s impact.

Other therapeutic modalities that we use to reduce stress are:

• Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• Solution Focus Therapy
• Narrative Therapy
• Family Therapy

The stress reduction tips and advice we also provide to help you are:

• Reality testing negative thoughts and catastrophic thinking
• Planning and keeping you organized
• Imploring you to laugh and cry
• Having you convey stressful emotions through the mediums of art, writing, and movement
• Practicing deep breathing

Therapy for Faith-Based Leaders

In many communities, faith and community leaders are often the first point of contact for people facing mental health issues and traumatic setbacks. They will turn to religious and spiritual leaders before they seek mental health professionals. Faith-based and community leaders serve as significant assets to the overall health system and can help educate individuals and families about mental health. Conversely, they spend so much time and energy aiding others, that they neglect their own self-care and needs. We have independent, Christian professionals with a heart for pastors and ministry leaders.

Facing Uncomfortable Truths

Pastors and church leaders also face loneliness, spiritual and personal crises, infidelity, relationship issues, family problems, and emotional pain and despair. However, they feel immense pressure to “bottle up” their struggles and have it all together, which can affect their personal life, family, and ministry. Recent statistics have highlighted that 42% of pastors have given real, serious thought and consideration to quitting being in full-time ministry. Pastoral burnout is rarely discussed, but we’re here to change that. Our Christian therapists have a Biblical worldview and can apply their collegiate and seminary training to recognize the signs and symptoms of pastoral burnout, while teaching faith leaders how to respond to crisis using the integration of theological and psychological approaches. We encourage faith leaders to garner additional professional insight to avoid using spiritual bypass and accept a confidential safety net specific for leader’s needs.

Doing the Work

Faith-based leaders and neighborhood outreach programs usually galvanize their congregations and community members to work on bettering themselves, while spending more time talking to God. Now, we want to use our resources to help you. We host confidential virtual sessions, along with pastoral and ministry family retreats. We share wisdom, insight, and help pastors and their families form a deeper connection to God, family, and congregation. Schedule a consultation call with us now so we can refer and recommend our distinguished therapists to you.