Single for the Holidays? Check Out 11 Strategies to Triumph Over Those Holiday Blues
Are you single and feeling a case of the blues this holiday season? If so, you’re not the only one. When you’re single, this time of the year can feel isolating due in part to film, television, commercials, and even social media. You’re constantly being bombarded with images of smiling couples in their matching pajamas and hot chocolate mugs and feel outed for not having someone to snuggle up to. Holiday invitations and parties can also feel exclusionary as the room overflows with spouses and guests, making your single-person attendance feel like an anomaly or an awkward third or fifth wheel. Even family gatherings can become tedious when you have well-meaning (and nosy) relatives imploring about when you’re going to bring that special someone home, leaving you feeling scrutinized and inadequate.
Bottom line, the holidays can stir up a mixture of conflicting emotions, both positive and negative. When you’re constantly being indirectly and directly reminded that you’re single, it’s difficult not to focus on your otherness or loneliness. However, you can counter those pessimistic attitudes and concentrate on empowering your mindset and actions, even during periods when you’re alone. You can fully enjoy your life and sustain self-love and positive vibes throughout all of life’s stages. Here are some dynamic, lifechanging strategies that you can apply right now to get the ball rolling and help you thrive and survive this holiday season.
1. Acceptance is Key – Embrace the Fact that You ARE INDEED Single and Embody the Good Aspects of “Single-hood”
Please repeat this phrase, “there is nothing wrong with being SINGLE.” We understand that we as people naturally crave companionship, especially during the holidays. We know you’re probably envisioning yourself cuddled up on the couch at this moment, watching a series of Lifetime holiday movies. As appealing as that sounds, you shouldn’t make compromising decisions based on temporary feelings. In other words, don’t allow feelings of desperation cause you to sacrifice your values or lower your self-worth. We must emphasize this if you’re newly single, haven’t found your significant other, or have no desire for one, but dread the holidays. You shouldn’t lose yourself in a last-ditch effort to find a partner. You are much more than your relationship status, you’re a valuable person with experiences, talents, passions, interests, and a unique background. Take things slowly and rediscover yourself as an individual, it’s up to you to feel complete, whole, and empowered - single or not.
2. Approach the Holidays with Realistic Expectations
It’s fun to daydream, but you don’t want to be too far gone in your fantasies that you lose sight of the present moment. Focus your optimism on the small things rather than what’s missing. Remain honest and realistic about your life and current situation, therefore creating meaning as you enter the holidays. Make sure these methods are practical.
3. Be Good to Yourself
Take some time to grieve a lost relationship or painful divorce or breakup, but don’t let it consume you. Work through your emotions by speaking out loud. Write about it. Unpack. Shed your tears. This might be a process that involves some work and introspection, but once you understand the significance of your breakup, you can find ways to move past it and appreciate the positives of being single – you can increase your self-care routine and focus more on what makes you happy. Rejuvenate your body and spirit, curl up with a good book, give yourself spa treatments, take a relaxing bath, learn a new skill, pick up a hobby, and be your own date. Treat yourself how you would want anyone else in your life to treat you. Be patient and kind to yourself, that way, you can enhance your self-esteem while having a dose of fun.
4. Surround Yourself with Good Friends
Engaging in enjoyable activities with some of your besties during the holidays keeps you busy and ensures your mind is off of being single. Spending quality time with an amazing circle of close friends diminishes feelings of isolation and boosts your social life in a healthy and positive way. Surrounding yourself with a core friend group can serve as a pillar of support and makes the holidays feel a lot less lonely.
5. Spread Some Holiday Cheer to Others
Give back to your loved ones or your community without expecting anything in return. These acts of kindness don’t just have to be for the holidays, but year-round. Practice doing something special for others without possibly receiving thanks. Not only are your actions and words significantly impacting someone’s life for the better, demonstrating selflessness and support helps shift your own life into a different perspective. You’re paying it forward and lifting tremendous burdens. Volunteering, whether at a soup kitchen, hospital, nursing home, or animal shelter can give you a sense of fulfillment, while leading to improved health and longevity. Putting in a helping hand is also a fantastic way to meet like-minded people and make new friends.
6. Tis the Season to Develop Gratitude
As the old saying goes, “be grateful for what you have.” Too often, we get lost in our personal bubbles and devote our time and energy to what’s missing instead of the amazing things we have around us. Get in the habit of listing what you’re grateful for every night in a holiday gratitude journal. The more you exude positive energy and thoughts, the more those positive things reverberate back to you. Show some appreciation for the good in your life and wash out the negative. Actively changing your thoughts, words, and actions can eventually lead to upbeat feelings and humble outlooks.
7. Break Bread Over the Holidays with Others
Reach out and make connections, whether that’s your family and friends or even strangers. If you and your family live far apart, or you’re not on the best speaking terms with them, spread the word in your workplace or neighborhood that you’ll be by yourself for the holidays. You never know who might also be spending the holidays on their own and is seeking to celebrate with others for the season. Start a tradition of gathering with others who might also not have a family and coordinate something festive and eventful with them. You can forge lasting bonds with your adoptive circle that extend past the holidays.
8. Host a Singles Event
In the spirit of our previous recommendation, plan an unforgettable soiree for single people in your circle. You’re not the only one who feels like the odd person out during holiday gatherings, there’s a collective of people who feel the exact same way. Invite single friends, co-workers, mate-less support group members, and even single family members over for a night of joy, laughter, and splendor. Instead of feeling down and forming a pity party, turn up with fire music, serve an array of delectable dishes and mocktails, and choose some captivating party games. Engaging with fellow singles is an excellent opportunity to broaden and strengthen your support system and it stands as a reminder that you’re not alone.
9. Continue Honoring Some Age-Old Rituals and Consider Adopting New Ones
Practicing old rituals can provide a sense of stability and continuity in your life, they highlight the importance of tradition through transitional times; meanwhile, forming new rituals help you accommodate to new beginnings and change. Determine which long standing rituals you want to keep and start brainstorming innovative practices you want to incorporate in the future. Maintaining a selection of rituals signifies the wonderful things happening in your life right now.
10. Get Out of the House
It can be really easy to lock yourself in the confines of your home, close the blinds, and create a form of self-imposed isolation. Venture out and paint the town! Ask a friend to grab a coffee, check out the new eatery in town, or watch a movie. Contrary to Christmas movies, the love of your life most likely isn’t going to be wrapped under a decorative tree wearing a bow. Socialize during the season by suggesting people bring an ugly sweater to work or throw a holiday celebration. Interacting with others can lighten your mood and kickstart great personal networking opportunities.
11. Find and Renew Your Purpose
Turbo charge your New Year’s resolutions and act on your goals and aspirations. Right now, your primary focus should be yourself. Being in a relationship you’re not ready for can cause added layers of complication in your life. Make peace with being alone and realize it’s not the end of the world. Use your newfound enjoyment and quiet time to seriously reflect on this past year and what you want to accomplish. Use your time productively and embark on the things you love.
You Can Triumph Over Those Holiday Blues!
Applying the tips above is crucial to rediscovering yourself. Tackle the holiday season by staying busy and surrounding yourself with a supportive community. Don’t forget to give back, get some fresh air, be grateful for the little things, and have fun! You’re a gem and you have time to find romance and love – most likely when you’re least expecting it.
Please remember, if you’re experiencing overwhelming feelings of sadness, anxiety, isolation, and depressed moods during this time of the year, please don’t hesitate to reach out and seek professional help. At D’Ivad Zzen Therapy Boutique, our dedicated professional therapists provide compassionate, personalized services that promote personal growth, healing, and security. Our cost-effective, high-quality clinical care strives to lead you on the pathway to becoming the best version of yourself, while ensuring confidentiality, integrity, and transparency. We want to assist you in working through your emotions during the holiday season and year-round, helping you gain mental and spiritual wellness. You don’t have to endure your battles alone, book an in-person or virtual consultation session to get started today.
